I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
