Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
