and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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