i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
