what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
