Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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