Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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