Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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