Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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