what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this boner is exhausting
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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