that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
