the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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