wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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