he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
