so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
