Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Randomize
