i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
