I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
