I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
