Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
