Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
