Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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