so that wasnt chicken after all
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
