woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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