we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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