I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm at about main and main street
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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