I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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