Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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