Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
