Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
