I must be too annoying 4 u.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You are the jesus of drinking
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
