My brain says no but my pants say off.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
