Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
