Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
