hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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