we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
