What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
