hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
honey bunches of taint.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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