i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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