I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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