so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
