just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
