On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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