i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
