you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I AM VODKA MAN
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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