just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize