Jerry, you need to find god
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
