So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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