Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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