my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
