this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
