I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
