My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
