Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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