That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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