Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
this boner is exhausting
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
