Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dignity is for republicans.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Randomize
