time to smoke my breakfast
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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