K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
look no pants
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
