I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
