Are we in a gay sports bar?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
