I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
