I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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