Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
