Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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