Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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