I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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