What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
