Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
