Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
