we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
